The American Slave: A Composite Autobiography (Volume 19, “God Struck Me Dead”, Religious Conversion Experiences and Autobiographies of Negro Ex-Slaves)  6580

  • Introduction
  • Status, Phantasy, and the Christian Dogma   Dr. Paul Radin

Part I: Conversion Experience

  • Prologue: “A Man In A Man”
  • “I Am Blessed But You Are Damned”
  • “Hooked in The Heart”
  • “My Jaws Became Unlocked”
  • “The Loveliest Singing in the World”
  • “A Voice Like the Cooing of a Dove”
  • “God Struck Me Dead”
  • “I Came From Heaven and Now Return”
  • “Split Open From Head to Foot”
  • “You Must Die This Day”
  • “I Came To Myself Shouting”
  • “Fly Open For My Bride”
  • “The Gospel Train”
  • “I Am As Old As God”
  • “I Want You to Jump”
  • “To Hell With Prayer in My Mouth”
  • “Souls Piled Up Like Timber”
  • “The Inside Voice Never Leaves Me Lonely”
  • “Behold the Travail Of Your Soul”
  • “Your Sings All Washed Away”
  • “I Ain’t Got To Die No More”
  • “Before The Wind Ever Blew”
  • “Golden Slippers On My Feet”
  • “Everything Just Fits”
  • “The Golden Wedge”
  • “A Voice Rang in My Soul”
  • “Waiting For To Carry Me Home”
  • “Angels Warm to Me In My Dreams”
  • “I’ll Do The Separation at the Last Day”
  • “The Sun in a Cloudy Sky”
  • “Pray a Little Harder”
  • “There Ain’t No Conjurers”
  • “A Burning Over My Soul”
  • “Felt the Darkness With My Hands”
  • “Jesus Handed Me a Ticket”
  • “I Died to Live Again”
  • “Little Me Looks At Old Dead Me”
  • “The Road So Narrow and My Feet So Big”
  • “Barked At By The Hell-Hounds”
  • “I Looked at My Hands And They Were New”
  • “Behold, I Am A Doctor”
  • “Hinder Me Not Ye Much-Loved Sins”
  • “Waist-Deep in Death”
  • “Baptized in the Spirit”
  • “Sitting on Cattle With a Thousand Hoofs”
  • “The Lord Spoke Peace To My Soul”
  • “More Than Conqueror”
  • “Hewn From The Mountains of Eternity”
  • “Time Brought You to This World”
  • Epilogue: “I Have Seen Nothing and Heard Nothing”

Part II: Autobiographies

  • Slave Who Joined the Yanks
  • Preacher from A “God-Fearing” Plantation
  • “Times Got Worse After the War”
  • Sixty-Five Years A “Washer and Ironer”
  • Stayed With “Her People” After Freedom
  • Slavery Was “Hell Without Fires”
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8 thoughts on “The American Slave: A Composite Autobiography (Volume 19, “God Struck Me Dead”, Religious Conversion Experiences and Autobiographies of Negro Ex-Slaves)”

  1. from the “Prologue: A Man In a Man”, p. 1

    I was a slave when converted. Before that I used to swear a great deal and do many things which caused my master to whip me a lot. At times I would go to hear preaching among the slaves, not to be converted however, but mainly to hear the moaning and hear the preacher quote the Scriptures.

  2. I have always been suspicious of ‘conversions’. I remember my own short period of near-evangelical fervour in the sixth form at Bishop Luffa. I always think of the power of my own mind to create illusion; not, in my case, the illusion of images or of voices, but of illusory hope or excessive despair … it is quite obvious, from what I have read of psychology, that proof of religion coming solely from individuals testimonies of what they have experienced is of no value whatsoever in establishing the truth, or otherwise, of religion.

    But everything is different with these. This is the first book of these slave testimonies I have opened, but it comes hard upon having watched the Ken Burns Civil War series in full for the first time. These conversion stories are not giving much background to their hardship, but they cite their day-to-day life in such a matter of fact way that it is searing, when you consider what it actually means. This from p. 3, the start of the section titled “I Am Blessed But You Are Damned” in the table of contents:

    One day while in the field plowing I heard a voice. I jumped because I thought it was my master coming to scold and whip me for blowing up some more corn. I looked but saw no one. Again the voice cried “Morte! Morte!” With this I stopped, dropped the plow and started running but the voice kept on speaking to me saying, “Fear not, my little one, for behold! I come to bring you a message of truth.”

    It is interesting the way in which the angel’s voice so closely mirrors the grammar and diction of e.g. Luke 2:10. But the vision is more personal, and a more direct catharsis from the situation in which the slave might be imagined to have been working (the book does not note either the gender or the location of the slaves (although perhaps from around Fisk University in Tennessee), but we might imagine an hot, bright and arid plowing environment which might give rise to the following vision:

    Everything got dark and I was unable to stand any longer. I began to feel sick and there was a great roaring. I tried to cry and move but was unable to do either. I looked up and saw that I was in a new world. There were plants and animals and all, even the water, where I stooped down to drunk, began to cry out, “I am blessed but you are damned! I am blessed but you are damned!” With this, I began to pray and a voice on the inside began to cry, “Mercy! Mercy! Mercy!”

    There is also a very direct reference to the physical hardship of slavery in what happens to the slave next:

    As I prayed an Angel came and touched me and I looked new. I looked at my hands and they were new; I looked at my feet and they were new. I looked and saw my old body suspended over a burning pit by a small web like a spider web.

    In Western visions of hell, hell is always in the future. We are saved from hell; the salvation is from what is to come. Not so with African-American slaves:

    I again prayed and their came a soft voice saying, “My little one, I have loved you with an everlasting love. You are this day made alive and freed from hell. You are a chosen vessel unto the Lord …

    I haven’t looked at too many of these yet, but I also wonder whether there will continue to be a tendency for the voice of God himself to be soft, rather than loud; a direct contrast to the scolding and whipping of the slaves’ masters?

  3. p.4

    About this time my master came down the field. I became very bold and answered him when he called me. He asked me very roughly how I came to plow up the corn and where the horse and plow were and why I had got along so slowly. I told him that I had been talking with God Almighty and that it was God who had plowed up the corn. He looked at me very strangely and suddenly I fell for shooting and I shouted and began to preach. The words seem to flow from my lips. I had a deep feeling of satisfaction and no longer dreaded the whipping I knew I would get. My master looked at me and seemed to tremble.”

  4. Interestingly, the interviewee refers to this him/herself as a trance:

    I must have been in this trance for more than an hour. I went on to the barn and found my master there waiting for me. Again I began to tell him of my experience. I do not recall what he did to me afterwards. I felt burdened down and that preaching was my only relief. When I had finished I felt a great love in my heart that made me feel like stooping and kissing the very ground. My master sat watching and listening to me and then he began to cry. He turned from me and said in a broken voice, “Morte, I believe you are a preacher. From now on you can preach to the people where on my place in the old shed by the creek. But tomorrow morning, Sunday, I want you to preach to my family and neighbors …”

  5. from page 9, “Hooked in the Heart”:

    This struck me because of the closeness of the religious experience to that of work, but in a different way: the paralleling of a relationship with God to that of a slave or employee to his master. The idea, in more modern terms of a “job description” in addition to the (not merely sufficient) “person specification”:

    You can’t serve two masters. You either got to be on the one side or the other. Before any man hires another to work for him he tried to find out something about that man—what kind of a worker he is; how much interest he will take in his work and how much time he can give. If that man finds out that you cannot give his job the proper time and interest, no matter how good a worker you may be, he can’t use you. The same is true with God. If we don’t meet his requirements he can’t use us. He calls us and gives us our orders and until a man gets orders from God he is not ready to serve Him.

    When God called me I had applied in hell, but my name wasn’t on the roll. I saw a sharp-eyed looking man and he seemed to be walking back and forth from one end of a work-shop to the other and looking at a time-book. I went to ask him if my name was in the book and he snapped back, “No!” It was from here that God delivered my soul, turned around and gave me orders.

    Is there a psychological need here to be subservient? To enter into a ‘freer bondage’, a ‘happier bondage’? To avoid the chaotic openness of freedom by continuing to receive ‘order’ from ‘orders’?

  6. I don’t know whether this is selection-related, or more applicable to the nature of a ‘calling’ in African-American Christianity that endures to this day, but it is interesting that in many of these memoirs, the slaves are called to “preach”. The word seems, in some ways, at least, more immediately important than the act. The words (e.g. “mainly to hear the moaning and hear the preacher quote the scriptures”) have a primacy of importance, no doubt inextricably related to how the preacher articulates them. But, that said, God is the authority thus far, rather than the content of the words. There is talk of direct punishment or direct love, direct from God, but little of the inherent morality of The Word, as it exists separate from God (i.e. “Love your neighbour as yourself”). It would be interesting to see whether this immediate observation endures across the volume, and other evidence, as a whole.

  7. p. 14 “The Loveliest Singing in the World”

    I was afraid and said, “Lord, what is this?” But just then I heard the loveliest singing that I ever heard. I tried to sing but my jaws were locked; I tried to speak but my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. The song I heard was this:
    Must I to judgement bar be brought
    To answer in that day? …
    I couldn’t speak but a voice within started to mourn, “Mercy! Mercy! Mercy!”

    The interviewee has lost (her?) child. It is ambiguous whether the child’s name was Mercy, or whether she is calling on God for Mercy.

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